My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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