Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
soo... how was my night?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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