I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
