Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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