It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
