I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
