is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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