and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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