Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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