idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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