Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Even my vagina gasped.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
