I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
