You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
