Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
