A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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