dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Your penis caused this!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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