This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
