This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
