so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
