I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize