The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
