You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
