Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
