i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
