eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
