god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
