Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
