I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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