it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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