just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Houston, we have a blender
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize