Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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