Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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