I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
