My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
