so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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