Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
