yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
