i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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