And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
