He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
