Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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