dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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