He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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