Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
