Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
