Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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