The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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