your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
