we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
