I just made out with a guy for $7.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
