4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
