I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
