As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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