remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
