Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My balls are so social today.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
