Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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