do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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