My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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