just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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