I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think your dad took our porno
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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