Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize