I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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