Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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