So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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