I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
