I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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