living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
