whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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