I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
