I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
